1.   Add a can of liver spread and continue cooking for five minutes.

2.   Add onions, bacon and garlic and cook for five minutes.

3.   Add the bacon and venison and cook quickly for a few minutes, stirring frequently, to seal the meat.

4.   Add the pasta and cook for the time specified on the package.

5.   Add the Quorn and spring onions and cook for a few minutes.

6.   But people who cook for the public know fat tastes good, so they tend to be generous in order to please.

7.   Cook for a minute or two until it begins to set, then stir gently to lightly scramble.

8.   Cook for them thirty years and lay down and die.

9.   Cook for two minutes until soft but not mushy.

10.   Cook for two or three minutes and remove from the heat.