1.   And if a UCLA fan ever hopped up on a bar stool and growled like a Bruin, his brethren would choke on their Chardonnay.

2.   But he wanted to be celebrated one last time, like the drunk who hears his bar stool buddies toasting him as he heads off into the night.

3.   He no longer considers a bar stool his place.

4.   It was his idea, he said, to pull his leg behind his head, a yoga position, while seated on a bar stool.

5.   Now the bar stools and dance floors that offered an antidote for thousands of sailors every month are almost empty.

6.   So are the bar stools, televisions, antique mirrors, oil paintings, stemware, pots and pans, clean linens, telephones and light fixtures.

7.   You expect this from most ex-jocks, mouths disconnected from a brain, yammering on for the bellies on the bar stools.

8.   A bunch of down-and-out Western types, picked up off the streets, watched drunkenly from their bar stools.