31.  A few times I sat down in the kitchen and almost told mum but changed my mind.

32.  A few weeks later I laid aside my steak knife for good.

33.  A few weeks later I was fired from my job at Hunter College.

34.  A few weeks later, unbidden, a very good quality leather strap fell through my letter box - with compliments.

35.  A few years ago he punched me and knocked my front teeth out.

36.  A few years ago my friend Tim Hult and I spent one steamy-hot and jet-lagged afternoon wandering aimlessly around Bangkok.

37.  A few years later I had my first sip of Fra Angelica liqueur, which is made from roasted hazelnuts.

38.  A fire truck or an ambulance whoops somewhere beyond the window, adding cruelly to my unease.

39.  A flurry of rain stung my face before the electric window could wind up again.

40.  A further delay before I am on my feet and, in fact, it is now tomorrow.