1.   For more than five centuries, since ice skaters began whisking themselves down frozen Holland canals like Hans Brinker, the rudiments of speed skating remained largely unchanged.

2.   So are many exterior shots, including one in which a sleigh rambles down a frozen canal.

3.   The folks from the frozen canals invented long-track speedskating and the annual world all-around championships are their Super Bowl.

4.   For thousands of people in the Netherlands, though, icy weather granted a welcome opportunity to dig out their skates and take to the frozen canals.

5.   They chase the dog across a frozen canal and then, with the camera holding back at a distance, they surround the dog and beat it to death.