1.   . . . and as her fingers gripped the handle of the old pickup, she watched her lover turn and walk out of her life.

2.   Harmless cat lovers often turn into compulsive cat hoarders with filthy houses and an unrestrained population of sick, inbred, feral felines.

3.   Her many lovers turn her into an icon of exotica of one kind or another, and they all pay the price for their illusions.

4.   Lovers turn into animals who are doing penance for past sins.

5.   Pet lovers are also turning to pet cemeteries and crematories because some municipalities forbid backyard burials.

6.   Even regular stiffs fear spurned lovers may turn to surreptitious cloning to create offspring, he says.